Not very long ago, I was really
enjoying the work at hand; but not anymore. Surely, the driving force, till
date was the quality of work, the ambience and the apt recognition and
appreciation. Strangely, all these factors still exist but the zeal has been
lost somewhere. Why?
A casual introspection was enough to infer the primary causes for the ‘mood-swing’:
- First and the most compelling, the chronic social and family pressure
to move on in life, breed a family and succumb to the ‘bhed-chal’. This
drives the urgent need to strengthen self on the financial front.
- Second, the urge to learn something new and different and to kill
the utter monotony of the usual job. Also, at the same time, to put in efforts
to earn skills that would enthrall credibility to my profile moving on.
Now, what these two factors might convey are some dire attributes as
far as my character is concerned:
- I am greedy.
- I am unstable and unreliable.
- I am insecure.
Yes, everything said above is painfully true. I am greedy, because my
being not greedy would not allow me with an option to choose the desirable
life-partner. My being not greedy might be praised superficially somewhere somehow
but would sadly tag me as being a risky preposition because I would not be
earning enough to breed a perspective family. My being not greedy would be
considered pessimistic and backward by a small but important group of people. Also,
it is correct to say that I am insecure as well. Because I am a mortal soul and
have had a fair share of defeats in life, I am insecure, the success that I
relish and foresee as of now, might not be long-lived and hence I have to seek
and preserve the alternatives well before. With a lot of external factors
driving the equation, being content would not be a great idea and hence I am
insecure and would continue to be like that. As from the perspective of the
organization and the associated management, I might end up being a culprit –
unstable, unreliable and selfish. True, all this is, for not being rewarded for
the efforts financially is like a warrior being raised to a new grade in name
and not in actual power.
What however, I fail to understand is why the fingers are being
pointed on me when this ‘only’ is the path these mythical management gurus
followed as well?
