There is a way to be good again ...

The 'white light' aka 'voice of the God' was an unbelievable phenomena for me until a day when I experienced it myself. Daydreaming, I was, as usual with the same low feeling when suddenly I felt a sensation and thus appeared the 'white light'. It said 'There is a way to be good again!' and smiled and continued

'You don't know if you will get another chance to live a moment or this is the last one. Live it to the fullest. Its OK if you fail, you goof up. No one is perfect and never ever is going to be. Don't ever feel that you are immortal. The only thing immortal about you is the unbelievable potential you possess. Go for it, put your best effort upfront in everything before it is too late. Life is not two dimensional (win or lose) everywhere. The most important thing is putting in the best effort, that is what separates a 'man of god' from a devil. Don't feel like a loser and put in the best effort in everything.

Remember, there is always a way to be good again!'

That thing I did .... haunts !!

1999, being naive to the circumstances, my mum and I both were probably unaware of the fact that this defining moment would prove to be crucial in shaping up the future events in my life. It was not common, in fact it was the first major 'f' (the dreaded f-word, not the one that is popular now a days with enriched f-vocab.) for me. Ever since childhood I had seen people around - relatives, neighbors, known ones and not so known ones torturing other children, making them feel inferior to me because they had claimed 'an' 'f'. May be this crap is out here because of some malfunctioning in my wretched brain, but I must admit I never felt that bad, in fact felt great until one day i was on the other side - the receiving end. I got an 'f'!

Had I been kicked, scolded and tortured thoroughly, things would have been different, I think. But it was not the case, I was protected, pampered and isolated of the beating (at least I felt it that way). It did helped and saved me from the temporary beating but the 'not visible at that time' emotional damage it caused was to inculcate a permanent fear from 'f' and no life after an 'f' kind of feeling. This was the defining moment and I admit that till date the ghost haunts me.

'f' by the way is failure/fail/failed/failing/will-fail etal.