1999, being naive to the circumstances, my mum and I both were probably unaware of the fact that this defining moment would prove to be crucial in shaping up the future events in my life. It was not common, in fact it was the first major 'f' (the dreaded f-word, not the one that is popular now a days with enriched f-vocab.) for me. Ever since childhood I had seen people around - relatives, neighbors, known ones and not so known ones torturing other children, making them feel inferior to me because they had claimed 'an' 'f'. May be this crap is out here because of some malfunctioning in my wretched brain, but I must admit I never felt that bad, in fact felt great until one day i was on the other side - the receiving end. I got an 'f'!
Had I been kicked, scolded and tortured thoroughly, things would have been different, I think. But it was not the case, I was protected, pampered and isolated of the beating (at least I felt it that way). It did helped and saved me from the temporary beating but the 'not visible at that time' emotional damage it caused was to inculcate a permanent fear from 'f' and no life after an 'f' kind of feeling. This was the defining moment and I admit that till date the ghost haunts me.
'f' by the way is failure/fail/failed/failing/will-fail etal.
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